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As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time.
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size
I am at two with nature.

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 Author : Woody Allen
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