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:: Quotes By Fred Allen ::
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange.
Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns he should be drawn and quoted.
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard - let him worry about cutting it.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

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 Author : Fred Allen
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